


like coming home

by Awriterwrites



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bottom Harry, Happy Ending, Home, M/M, Mysticism, Smut, Some angst, Soul Bond, Top Louis, a little more "out there", different than what i usually do, its mostly h/l, nurse Harry!, perfect love, rimming very briefly, teacher Louis!, zayn and liam are only in it a bit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-31
Updated: 2016-01-31
Packaged: 2018-05-17 12:00:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5868595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awriterwrites/pseuds/Awriterwrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's not that Louis is a pessimist.  No.  He's just not really a half glass full kind of guy. He's more of a realist...is all.  He feels old.  Old and un-bonded and that's...well, that's just how it is.  And then...Then everything changes.  </p><p>Louis hopes he's found his soulbond with Harry.  And there's only one way to find out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	like coming home

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Idzzdi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Idzzdi/gifts).



> Hi! I really hope I did this prompt justice: "I looooove a good soulmate fic! This isn't really a specific prompt, but I love soulmate verses of all kinds (identifying via tattoos, color vision, some sort of feeling, etc.) so I would love to read about h/l meeting and/or realizing that they're each other's soulmate on valentine’s day :)" 
> 
> This is my first soulmate/soulbond fic. It was different but so fun to write. As always, this is entirely a work of fiction. The ideas here are purely my own and a figment of my imagination. 
> 
> Thanks for reading and be sure to leave a note and let me know what you think!

This had to be one of the dumbest things Louis had ever agreed to do. Seriously. The. Dumbest. Thing. Ever.

Stupid fucking Liam and his bright ideas.

Look, it wasn’t Louis’ fault he was overly pessimistic about this. It wasn’t. He was just prone to looking at hard objective facts, that’s all. And the facts were this: This was stupid and Louis was going to murder Liam in his sleep.

Ok, maybe not that last part, but still. Stupid.

But seriously, the possibility of it happening for Louis, now, now that he’s over 25 and the possibility of it happening out here in the middle of the fucking country on some god-forsaken farm that smelled like wet earth, and animals and just… _farm_. It was highly unlikely. Facts. That’s all this was: facts.  

Louis hazarded a glance over at Liam in the passenger seat of his worn down old Chevy truck. Liam Payne was practically _beaming_ , he was so fucking joyous. Which was…well, shit. It made Louis probably the worst best friend ever. But, for what it’s worth, he’s here, isn’t he? He tagged along on this asinine outing, even _drove_ for Christ sake, and that had to count for something.

So, anyway.

Louis was here. He was here and he was going to support his best friend, even if it killed him. Liam’s leg was bouncing excitedly next to Louis and he was humming along to the radio. The cab of the truck was warm against the chill of the winter air, the droplets of moisture clinging to the windshield sporadically so that Louis had to use his wipers to maintain a clear line of vision. “Stand by Me” was on the radio and it made Louis smile. It was one of Liam’s favorites and whenever Louis heard it he thought of Liam.

Good old Liam. God, Louis was such a prick for not wanting to go with him tonight. He could remember how excited Liam had been when he burst into Louis’ house that night, about 3 weeks ago, brimming with excitement that he thought he’d finally found “the one”. Louis had gasped, feeling his heart plummet into his stomach, happy for his friend, sure, but achingly lonely in his own desperation to find his soul mate, the person he was destined to be with in this life and whatever others the universe had in store for him.

He was on his third life and it still hadn’t happened for him, so why would this one be different?

“Lou! Lou. I think…I think I found him!” Liam had yelled, practically in Louis’ face, bouncing on the balls of his feet and holding firmly to Louis’ biceps. Spittle had landed on Louis’ chin and it made him wince. Gross. It had been one of those uncharacteristically warm winter days that made Louis think of spring and flowers and longer days that held the promise of summer. He was wearing a sleeveless worn t-shirt and track pants, the window open a crack letting in a steady stream of unseasonably warm air.

“What the fuck are you on about?” Louis had retorted, grumpy because Liam had interrupted his binge watch of MasterChef Jr. (not to mention the drying saliva on his face). He was about to find out if the 10 year old foodie from New York had beat out the 12 year old vegan from LA. He was not pleased, the tv in the living room paused on a big bowl of partially mixed jasmine custard.

Liam pulled Louis into a fierce one armed hug, squeezing any lingering resentment right out of Louis’ body. “My soul mate, Louis! My soul mate.”

The words hung in the air between Louis and Liam, the latter’s big brown eyes sparkling with unshed tears. Louis blinked back at him for a long moment before he pulled him into a hug of his own. How could he be mad? Liam was pure and gentle; kind to a fault. If anyone deserved to find his soulmate it was Liam. Did it matter that he’d only had one lifetime of solitude compared to Louis’ three? Maybe a little, but still…He was Liam and he was Louis’ best friend and he wished him only happiness. So…

As Louis pulled into a gravel lot, the small grouping of barns illuminated with hundreds of sparkling white twinkling lights dotting the night sky, he thought back over the past few weeks of Liam’s incessant prattling on about Zayn’s beautiful smile, his golden amber eyes, his incredible arse…and it was really just a little too much. For Liam’s sake, Louis really hoped this was it for him. He hoped that all of the feelings Liam had been experiencing really were a part of The Pull, and not just a fabrication of Liam’s imagination. He hoped that when the evening was through, Liam would be stepping into his future instead of lying in Louis’ bed crying bitter tears of sadness and anguish. Louis was feeling anxious for his friend.

They each got out of the truck, little puffs of steam floating from their mouths as they encountered the cool night air. “Fuck, its cold.” Louis muttered, clapping his gloved hands together for warmth.

“There will be heaters inside.” Liam said nervously.

Louis looked at his friend and bumped his shoulder. “Hey. S’ alright, yeah? He’ll be here and if anything…if anything you’ll get a good shag out of it, right?”

Liam smiled sheepishly at Louis, his lips curling up in that adorable way of his, eyebrows squinching, cheeks puffing up like a little chipmunk. They could hear music streaming from the open barn doors where a couple was greeting party goers in the halo of golden light spilling on to the frosty dirt and gravel walkway. “Let’s do this.” Liam finally breathed out, pulling himself up to his full 6 foot height. Louis nodded and followed him inside.

Just inside the door, a man with a long scruffy beard and a low pony tail grinned a warm, genuine smile at the twosome. “Howdy mates.” He said, in a very awful, very contrived, twang.

“Oh. Hey. Yeah…we’re here for the…” Liam’s nerves were back, his eyes skittering about the large open space. There were bales of hay scattered around for people to sit on, along with high boy tables and chairs. Couples and small groups were mingling and there was a dance floor set up to the right. Along the back of the barn was a full bar and it looked like it was one of the more popular places inside the surprisingly warm space. Louis could see, where they were standing, that there were three exits lining each of the walls, emptying out on to dimly lit sidewalks probably leading out to the confirmation spaces, barns in this case. Louis scoffed and snorted a little, earning him a quizzical look from his friend. “Confirmation” was a politically correct word for “fucking” these days.

Liam was lucky; he had found himself in the middle of one of the most important phases of a person’s life. A person might feel “The Pull” from someone and if it was mutual, they were to experience “Confirmation”, i.e. they had to fuck each other (there really wasn’t a poetic way to say it) and see if it was a legitimate soul bond. Soul bonds didn’t work until both people were at least 18 years of age—which, Louis could imagine, was annoying for some people because some lucky sons of bitches met their soul mates when they were just children and well, if that wasn’t a kick in the teeth…. Anyway, Liam was here to see if he would “Confirm” with Zayn.

After the “Confirmation” the bond would be established when each person’s finger tips lit aglow like little candles or flashlights at the tips of each digit. It was _magical_. At least that’s what Louis’ had been told. He’d seen a few people in his life with the fingerglow and, frankly, it was more than magical. The people who had met their soul mates and confirmed the bond glowed from head to toe, not just in their fingers. Sometimes Louis thought it was just because they were smug bastards and wanted to make people like him feel like old spinsters, but really he knew that they were just happy, inside and out and it showed, not just in the ethereal glow of their fingertips but in the shine in their eyes, the flush on their cheeks and the smiles lighting across their faces. It was…really fucking amazing.

And it felt so, so very out of reach for Louis.

Sometimes, like in Louis’ case, after the Confirmation, if a bond wasn’t found, your fingers just looked like…your fingers. And that was a fucking disappointment. Louis’ had his fair share of disappointment over the years.

So, there was that.

Louis glanced down at his hands, dismally bland and flesh colored. Oh well. There’s always the next life.

Liam was making small talk with the cowboy, who Louis was pretty sure was just dressed up to look that way, when Louis noticed that his fingertips held the tell-tale glow. Cowboy greeter must have noticed Louis looking at his hands because he spoke up, “Yeah…uh…met my mate Gale here last week. We confirmed two days later and here we are…”

Louis looked at the girl standing at the door. She was glowing, right up to the tips of her pretty ears. Naturally. Because, they were soul mates. In love and all that. Louis sighed. “Congratulations.”

The girl smiled beatifically. “Thank you so much.” She gushed. “We have our Ritual next week Saturday.”

Confirmed couples were expected to participate in the Ritual as soon as possible. A week after confirming was pretty quick, though, so he arched an eyebrow at Gale.

“Yeah…um, well, Skye is enlisted in the armed forces and he ships out in a month so…” Gale’s pretty face clouded over for a second.

Louis took note of the discomfort between the pair and hurriedly said, “Well…then sounds like you have a lot more confirming to do between now and then, don’t you?”

All four people laughed because Louis basically just made a joke about the fact that Gale and Skye would be fucking like bunnies for the next month and well, that was just the world they lived in now, wasn’t it? Skye ushered them inside and pointed out the bar, dance floor, rest rooms and where some snacks could be found. Liam paid their entrance fee and, with that, they were sent on their way, but not before Louis could see the two of them lock fingers, their hands wrapped in the glow of their perfect love.

Louis led the way, heading straight for the bar because if he knew anything it was that he was going to need a drink. A strong one. Liam tagged along, scanning the room for Zayn.

“Rum and coke please.” Louis ordered as soon as a space cleared for him at the sturdy makeshift bar. The bartender was a single. He was in his forties and wore the tear drop pendant at his neck. People over 28 who hadn’t found their soul mates were issued tear drops to be worn as a symbol of their impending solitude, and, subsequently, confirmation that they would, indeed, be reincarnated, coming back for one more go at the love game.

Louis gulped and felt his hand fly up to his clavicle, fingers fluttering nervously for a moment before he realized that the bartender was looking at him.

“It’s not so bad.” He said quietly, almost in pity of Louis and his slowly advancing age. Louis nodded and took the drink, dropping some money on the bar top.

Louis turned, took a deep breath and surveyed the room. There were no other fingerglows that he could make out, which wasn’t surprising since this event was meant for people seeking The Pull or wanting to Confirm what they were hoping was _it_ for them. Liam stood next to him, a firm solid presence. Louis sighed and leaned in to him a bit as they walked toward a cluster of beams in the center of the barn. They leaned up against the worn ragged wood and sipped their drinks. Louis felt Liam tense before he heard the shuddery breath he took and he knew…he Liam had found Zayn.

Following Liam’s eyesight, Louis’ eyes landed on one of the most attractive men he’d ever seen. Tall but slight with dark hair that swooped over his forehead, Zayn was pretty in a lithe and graceful way. He moved like a cat almost, long legs gliding over the barn floor, eyes boring into Liam’s. Louis felt…nothing. Of course. This was Liam’s potential bond, so Louis felt nothing. Story of his life, really. He also was beginning to feel incredibly awkward, like he really needed to be anywhere but here. Mostly because Liam and Zayn were engaging in a _very_ stimulating round of eye fucking, so.

“Liam.” Zayn’s voice was soft and whispery smooth.

“Z.” Liam breathed out, sounding like he was ready to combust.

“Oh for Christ’s sake.” Louis grumbled. “Just go get it over with already.”   He tossed his drink back, wincing at the burn of the rum lacing the sweet carbonated beverage. “I’m going to get another. Find me when you’re done, Li.” He said, trying to soften the acidic tone to his voice by squeezing Liam’s shoulder once before turning on his heel and heading back to the bar.

Liam barely noticed. Louis couldn’t blame him. Zayn was insanely hot and well, Liam was positively certain that Zayn was his mate so…Louis really hoped he was right. While he waited for the bartender to come to his end of the bar, Louis saw Liam and Zayn make their way to the exit at the far left. That must be where the guys only space was. Probably the other two were for the straights and the right one was for girls. That was considerate. Usually, at events like this, it was all jumbled up and sometimes people of one persuasion or another were offended or grossed out by the moans and sounds coming from the room or mattress near them.

Louis had to admire whoever organized this little shin-ding. Clearly they’d thought of some of the finer details, if the happy light music and warm cozy space was anything to go by. Hopefully the confirmation spaces were private. Louis had heard horror stories of big open rooms and wall to wall mattresses lined up on the floor; virtual orgies happening within the four walls of such spaces. While he wasn’t opposed to a bit of a romp, Louis thought that finding your soul mate should be more of an intimate affair.

Before he could order his second drink, Louis felt a _presence_ coming up alongside of him. He turned his head and looked up slightly to gaze into the most expressive, kindest green eyes he’d ever seen. Without warning Louis felt a sharp tug in his groin, zipping up his midsection and landing in his sternum, thumping madly, almost like that little hammer the doctor used to check your reflex against your knee, it was like that; a thumpthumpthump. Only…It _vibrated_ , was the thing. He felt dizzy from it and a little off center. Thinking that maybe he drank his last rum and coke a little too fast, he vowed to go slower with the next one.

“Um…hi?” The tall boy next to him murmured, his voice deep and slow with a warm rasp to it. Louis could see that the boy was good looking. Really good looking.

“You sure you want to say that?” Louis teased, shaking his head, trying to get rid of the odd dizzying sensation radiating from his chest up to his head. The guy looked confused. “You said it like a question.” Louis explained with a smile. Jesus, this guy was cute. Like, really cute. Louis still felt woozy but he could still see that the guy with the voice was hot, in a weird poet turned rock star kind of way.

“Oh. Right. Yeah…I just…do I know you?”

Louis looked over the man more closely. He was pretty sure if he knew this kid he’d remember it. He was beautiful. Peaceful and serene looking, with pretty pale skin and bright expressive eyes. His mouth was practically sinful, though. It was wide and definitely the most dominant feature on his face; with plump shiny lips and white square almost overly large front teeth. That mouth…it was mesmerizing. Louis’ knew he was staring, but he just couldn’t help it. Slowly, while his eyes tracked the unhurried sinful slide of the boy’s tongue on his lips, the man next to Louis smiled. It was a smirk, really, not a smile, and it made two deep, really fucking _charming_ , dimples pop out of the crease in his cheeks.

“Nope. You don’t know me.” Louis finally stammered, forcing himself to look up into the guy’s eyes again. Which was…really no better. They were this deep penetrating shade of green and the more Louis’ looked the more he felt the deep vibration in his chest. The sensation was spreading outward, shimmying up his shoulders and down his biceps and lower…lower, which was…oh _god_. Louis could feel himself getting hard.

It felt like a million little tickling pin pricks at his skin, while the vibrating just grew stronger and stronger. It spiraled out from his chest and cascaded throughout his entire body. It was…not quite like free falling or flying down the hill of a roller coaster, but close. It was unnerving.

The guy next to him shifted uncomfortably and, god, he was so close Louis could feel the heat of his body seeping into his. He looked unsettled too, which was…huh. Louis could see a drop of sweat rolling down from his temple along the side of his face and thought he could see the fine hairs that frizzed out from the curls on his head move like one of those tall noodle-y things people put out in front of businesses to attract attention to a sale or something. It was almost like his body was moving in time with Louis’, which was… _impossible_.

“I’m uh…fuck. It’s hot…or something in here innit?” The kid started fanning himself with his large hands.

Louis was distracted by his growing erection as the thrumming feeling started spiraling down his legs and forearms. “Hot? Um…no. Not hot. Just…” His own voice didn’t sound like his, it was shaky and high, almost frantic sounding.

“I’m Harry.” The boy said, swiping his big hand through his long shoulder length hair. Louis barely registered his name, he was so overtaken with the thrumming that coursed through his body.

“Louis.” Louis told him, distracted, as he felt a light sweat break out on his forehead, never breaking eye contact with the tall boy next to him.

Louis’ body was rocking slightly now, his arm gently brushing up against Harry’s, sending a violent chill up his arm with each bump of their limbs against one another. He felt his fingers reach out to grasp the edge of the bar, his vision blurring slightly as he concentrated on not losing his balance, but still caught up in Harry’s evergreen stare. What was happening? If Louis didn’t know any better, he would think there was an earthquake, except the shaking only seemed to be affecting Louis and…Harry. Which was…strange.

Louis bumped into Harry’s side a bit more forcefully and as Louis tried to gather the words to apologize and try to find somewhere to sit down; Harry gasped and turned his body. Louis felt like the air was being pulled out of his lungs as he turned his body too, feeling like he was being manipulated by marionette strings dangling above his head.

“Do you? Are you?” Harry said slowly, licking his lips, his deep voice washing over Louis like warm water.

Louis stared into Harry’s eyes and he felt like there were beams of light surrounding them, a glittery swirling rainbow of color, shielding them from everyone around them, the force of the colored ribbons pushing their bodies together. It was something like out of a movie, Louis thought, idly, as he placed his hands on Harry’s chest, the heat from under the other man’s shirt searing; scorching Louis’ palms at every point of contact and…oh. Louis felt unbelievably woozy. He had to sit down.

“Need to...I…” Louis stammered, leaning into Harry, feeling Harry’s arms wrap around his shoulders.

“Yeah. Yeah. Let’s sit down…” Harry said, his deep deep voice a rumble in Louis’ ears.

Harry led the two of them over to a corner near the bar and gently helped Louis sit on a hay bale. He sat next to him and fit himself into Louis’ side, the two of them nearly supporting each other upright. Louis barely noticed the scratchy feel of the dried grass through his jeans. The air seemed to have cooled a little but Louis still felt off center. He felt like the lights in the rest of the room dimmed and all he could see was Harry. Harry’s face was close to his own, so close that Louis could make out the fine crinkles around his wide set eyes. Harry blinked slowly at Louis and leaned in so that their foreheads were pressed together.

Louis inhaled and could smell something spicy and familiar, like black pepper, but with a sweetness to it, like chamomile tea. It reminded Louis of home and cooking and sun streaming through open windows. He blinked and could _feel_ that strange swirling of colors again, only this time he felt as if they were practically swimming inside of it; joined together, inexplicably, interconnected. It was like he was floating, floating in the middle of this dry dark barn out in the middle of nowhere with a beautiful boy next to him and the smell of hay in his nose and the taste of rum on his tongue.

“Is it?” Harry stuttered, and Louis could feel the warm sweet flutter of his breath on his face.

“Do you…do you feel it too?” Louis asked, uncertain, because he’d never, in all his years of living felt anything like this, _anything_. And it was…it was so surreal. So unlike what he expected. So sweet and mystical and just _right_.

“Yeah. Yeah. I think…” Harry pressed his lips to Louis’ and time absolutely stood still. With just that one small touch of skin on skin, their noses rubbing alongside each other and the soft wet press of Harry’s plump pink lips to Louis’ slightly chapped open ones and….Louis felt like his entire body was actually falling apart, cell by cell in an explosion of light and color, the rhythmic thrumming and vibrating taking over, taking over and completely consuming Louis. Consuming him in the best possible way.

The entire world had narrowed down to the shared breath between Harry and Louis, and Louis could make out every tiny sensation, feeling, coursing through his body and over his skin. He could feel the prickle of Harry’s whiskers pressed to his upper lip. He could feel the way Harry’s firm hands pressed softly into the sides of his hips, finger tips sending electric jolts of heat and pleasure into the skin there. He could feel the way Harry’s lips opened and released his warm, wet tongue, that found its way into Louis’ mouth, exploring, licking, gently caressing his tongue in soft, soft slides of sweetness and light. Louis found himself kissing Harry back, surrendering to the complete need to touch, feel and taste the other boy. It felt like something he had to do, something he was _made_ to do. The way their lips, tongues, bodies fit together…it was…like something celestial had aligned and just… _clicked_.

Louis felt the thumping and vibrations that had consumed his body fade away into a blissful sensation of floating. Floating and swimming in the taste of Harry’s mouth, the feel of his warm sure body pressed to his own. The complete feeling of bliss personified spiraled through Louis’ body, making him shake for another reason altogether. He was sure. Just so sure that this…this is what he was supposed to be doing. This is where he was meant to be.

When Harry broke the kiss, it pulled a near pained sounding groan from Louis’ throat. He chased Harry’s lips with his own, craving the sugar sweet taste of Harry immediately. Harry breathed into Louis’ mouth, hands sliding lower to cradle the small of Louis’ back, Louis body slumping forward, his arms over Harry’s shoulders, clinging to him in desperation.. “Is it? Can it be…The Pull?” Harry whispered against Louis’ wet lips.

“I think?” Louis leaned back just a little so he could breathe. It was just so hard to breathe, was the thing, and Harry’s warm skin and deep penetrating gaze made it even more difficult. Without realizing it, Louis pushed the palm of his hand down over his cock, fully hard and pressing painfully up against the inside of the zipper in his jeans. When did that happen?

Harry chuckled as he saw the movement out of the corner of his eye. “M’ so hard too.” He said simply, nonchalantly, like he was commenting on the color blue of the sky or asking Louis to pass the salt over the dinner table. Like it was a fact. And, well…it kind of was. Louis was _so_ hard. So hard it was nearly impossible now to think about anything else besides how hard he was and how much he wanted to be kissing Harry again.

Louis had read about the intense sexual attraction some people felt during The Pull, but not everyone had it. Liam hadn’t. Liam talked about how he felt like he could breathe again or like how he felt like Zayn was a missing appendage or summat…and it wasn’t…didn’t sound _anything_ like what Louis was feeling right now with Harry.

“Feel dizzy. And like, like everything is shaking?” Louis said, looking to Harry for confirmation, twining his fingers into the other boy’s long wavy hair.

“Yeah. Me too. I feel like I just need to touch you, kiss you. Does that make sense?” Harry’s voice was lower suddenly, a twinge of lust threading through it, making Louis’ dick throb even more intensely.

Louis pulled Harry’s face closer to his by pulling at Harry’s hair, making Harry groan deep in his throat. Harry surged forward and their lips crashed together and this time the kisses were deep and full of desire. Kissing Harry felt purposeful, a means to an end to Louis; it felt like the inevitable end of _something_. When Harry’s tongue slid inside Louis’ mouth this time, Louis jolted upright, the smooth glide of it making that pull in his groin electric, his body reacting in a visceral, almost violent way.   Harry groaned loudly and moved to straddle Louis’ lap, his long legs folding gracefully so he could position his arse over Louis’ erection.

“F…fuck. Harry. I don’t… _what_?” Louis was lost for speech. In the back of his mind he knew he should be wary of the fact that they were allowing this to escalate so quickly, and so publicly, but Louis couldn’t think of a reason _why_ they should stop. He couldn’t articulate a clear thought at all. All he could do was keep kissing Harry, and keep letting Harry do that thing he was doing with his tongue and his hips. Louis knew that if he separated from Harry now it would be _painful_. It would _hurt_. So he didn’t.

Harry ground down on Louis’ lap and cradled Louis’ face with his hands, big hot palms holding Louis’ cheeks still so he could kiss him forcefully, stealing his breath and making him feel completely boneless. And Louis couldn’t _think_. Just couldn’t think. And that…he had to think. Didn’t he?

“Lou? Louis!” Louis tore himself away from the perfect heat of Harry’s mouth and squeezed his hands around the soft roll of Harry’s hip at the waist of his very tight, very telling jeans. He looked up, dazedly, moaning embarrassingly as Harry’s lips re-positioned themselves at his neck, nearly not able to focus on Liam’s face, looming over their hot, fevered, inseparable bodies.

“We have to go. Like, now.” Liam demanded, his face flushed and his eyes wild. Louis could feel his Harry induced haze fading to soft altogether not unpleasant ache.

Louis glanced down to his fingertips and they were dismally plain. Plain, as in not glowing. As in, Zayn wasn’t his soulmate. Fuck.

“Harry. Harry, um…nnggggh.” Harry’s chest was flush against Louis’ and he had just completed a series of sucking bruises that he capped off with a nipping bite at the base of Louis’ neck. Louis could feel his dick twitching and releasing hot bubbles of precome in his increasingly tighter and tighter pants. He was hot. So hot and embarrassingly turned on.

“Hm?” Harry hummed and pulled back to look at Louis. His face was pink and sweaty and his lips were full and so, so pretty. Louis felt that thrumming taking over again, the short term relief of Harry’s mouth and body on his short lived.

“I have to…”   Louis hated to even say it, “I have to go. My friend…”

Harry comically jerked backward, nearly falling off of Louis’ sturdy lap, Louis catching him at the last minute. “Oh! Oh. Sorry.” He slid over to sit next to Louis again, looking woozy and twitching awkwardly.

Liam looked from Louis to Harry and back at Louis again. He was pleading with his eyes, wide and brimming with tears. Louis could at least manage to feel bad for his friend. This night was not turning out the way he had imagined. Louis’ night, however, Louis’ night was turning out to be unexpectedly _fantastic_.

Harry’s body was plastered alongside Louis’ and Louis could feel his fingers dipping into the back of his pants, skittering fingertips teasing at the skin cradling the dimples at the bottom of his spine. He had to go but…he just only met Harry and…Christ, he could _cry_ with how conflicted he was. But Liam was in pain and Harry, well, Harry could wait, couldn’t he? If they were really soulmates, he’d wait, right?

“Harry?”

“Yeah?” Harry’s eyes were clouded over with lust and his mouth was coming closer and closer to Louis’ neck.

“Love. I have to go. Can we?” Louis’ fingers were shaking as he held his hand out. “Here. Give me your phone.”

Harry’s hand slid into his pocket, the fit extremely tight with how much space his dick was taking up (Louis gulped at that), and pulled out his phone. Louis took it and hurriedly tapped his number into it and texted himself so that he’d have Harry’s number. “Can we talk tomorrow?”

Harry blinked slowly, finally, finally catching up, understanding that Louis had to go. “Yeah. Yes. _Please_.” Louis smiled at the way he was unabashedly begging.

“Ok. Tomorrow. I…uh. I’m so glad we met.” Louis said, his soft airy voice just a whisper in Harry’s curls.

Harry’s eyes slipped closed as Louis kissed him softly on the cheek and stood up to join his pacing friend.  He could feel the thrumming return to his veins and the shaky tremors in his limbs subside as he walked further and further away from Harry. As Louis looked over his shoulder, he saw the still dazed looking Harry leaning back against the hay bales looking completely starry eyed and a little debauched.

In Louis’ wildest dreams he had never imagined that tonight would have turned out the way it had.

****

So, Zayn wasn’t Liam’s soulmate and Liam was…well, to say devastated would be an understatement.

He was bereft with grief. Inconsolable.

Louis tucked him into his bed, crawling in next to him and spooning him from behind, holding him while Liam’s body shook with tears. Louis felt helpless with the inability to take any of his friend’s pain away. And what made it worse was that Louis was actually happy, thrilled even, for _himself_. Because he might have met his soulmate. _Might_. He wasn’t letting himself run away with gleeful enthusiasm just yet, he was conservatively optimistic.

Who was he kidding?

He was completely overjoyed. Overcome with excitement. His mind kept drifting back to the way Harry smelled and the way he kissed and the way his body had responded to his and…and _fuck_. It was all so much but clearly not enough. Louis could never go back to what his life was before now that he’d met Harry. No matter what happened, whether they were soulmates or not, Harry had clearly gotten under Louis’ skin and he didn’t know the first thing about him. Other than the fact that when he touched Harry and when Harry touched him it felt so right…like coming home. Between rubbing Liam’s back and handing him tissues, Louis lost himself in the brief memories of kissing Harry in the dim light of that barn. He felt a tingle in his groin when he imagined the weight of Harry’s hands on his hips, his face, his back. He could almost still feel the heat of Harry’s skin, the tickle of his curls and the way his eyelashes fluttered against Louis’ cheeks.  If his best friend wasn’t in danger of falling off the deep end he would be on the phone already, giving Harry his address so they could get the confirming over with tonight, right now.. But…

He wasn’t a complete asshole.

Liam.

He held Liam and brought him water and listened to him talk about how incredible the sex was; how in tune they were with each other, how incredible it had felt to be inside Zayn. And then…nothing. He couldn’t believe it. He was shocked. Absolutely flabbergasted that he’d been wrong.

Louis listened and held his hand and cooed and hugged when he was supposed to, all the while tamping down the libidinous itch under his skin as he thought of the boy from the barn. Harry, with his hot hands and full lips and green eyes and his smell. God, his smell. Louis just knew it would be better in his bed, that smell soaking into his bedsheets, his clothes, his very life.

But, he might have been getting ahead of himself.

They finally fell asleep, Liam’s body still shaking with the aftermath of hours of mournful sobbing. Louis felt his eyes close as he bit back a smile, excited for the new day to begin. His last thought was that he should feel guilty about being so happy when Liam wasn’t.

******

The next morning wasn’t as hopeful as Louis had thought it would be. There was Liam, first off. Liam was despondent and didn’t want to go to work, even though Louis said it was best to just get back to his life. So Liam asked Louis if he could stay at his place for the day and watch his Netflix and eat his junk food, which was fine with Louis. Louis couldn’t miss work, though, he was teaching 4th graders this year and this week was their lesson on lifecycles. Their butterflies were ready to hatch from their cocoons any day now, so he really had to be there.

Louis had kissed Liam on the head before heading out the door, brown bag lunch in hand, backpack slung over his shoulder. He knew there was a bounce in his step that had not been there last week, and it made him giddy with the knowledge that Harry, the guy from the barn that he knew very little about, was the one that had put it there. There was a layer of frost on the grass and caking his windshield.   February, being the bitch that she was, was threatening snow with every icy breath of air.

The day flew by, the kids excited as the fat flakes of snow skated by the window to Louis’ classroom. The butterflies were close to breaking free and there was an excitement in the air. Louis checked his phone a few times and didn’t have a message, but that was ok; he didn’t even know what Harry did for a living. Maybe he couldn’t talk or text at work. He still couldn’t help the fluttery feeling in his stomach whenever he thought about Harry, though. Despite the icy wind whipping at his classroom windows and the dark gray brooding sky, Louis felt lighter than he had in years.

He always thought that if he were lucky enough to find his soulmate it would be completely by chance. Some random hook up at a bar. Or even bumping into someone at a library. He never dreamed it would be at one of those godforsaken soul events that some of the zealots raved about.   He was never one for organized anything, Louis thought to himself, while listening to the kids take turns reading their butterfly stories they had worked on all morning. But now, now he might have to change his tune. Meeting Harry last night had been so utterly unexpected, such a freak accident, really. And now here he was. Butterflies in his own stomach while little cocoons jittered in the glass tanks to the left of his desk. Life was strange.

“Very good, Carmen. Now, who wants to go next?” He asked the room of flushed excited faces. 18 eight and nine year olds stared at him expectantly, hands shooting up in the air. “Ok, Luke. Your turn.”

During his afternoon prep period, Louis decided to try calling him. He just couldn’t wait any longer. Once the children had all been shuttled out of the classroom for their P.E. period, he shut the door and pulled the shade. He hesitantly pushed the button on Harry’s contact. He felt a twinge of something in the center of his chest as the ring echoed through the line.

Harry picked up on the first ring.

“Hullo?” His voice was just as deep and raspy as Louis remembered. Louis felt a fluttery little tug in his chest.

“Harry? It’s Louis. Louis from the…barn?”

“I know. You called yourself ‘Louis from the barn’ in your contact.” There was a giggle in his voice. Louis felt his breath catch in his throat. Shit. He was so fucking _endearing_.

“Yeah. Right.” He laughed, the sound quiet and hushed in the deserted classroom.

There were a few moments of silence on the line, the two of them just basking in the memory of what had happened the night before.

“So…” Harry began, his voice slow and deliberate. “Has that, ever…um…happened to you before?”

“No. Nothing like that. Ever.” Louis was surprised at the vehemence in his voice. “I mean, I’ve thought….you know, that, like, maybe I had felt it…The Pull, or whatever, but never like that. I mean…it was…” He couldn’t even put it into words.

“I know.” Harry breathed out, the sound of relief and intense emotion nearly palpable in his voice. “It was like…like…the best feeling ever. But scary at the same time, you know?”

Louis nodded his head, like Harry could see him. “How many lives has it been for you?” He asked, because, well, he felt so lost most of the time, unworthy in a sense, having not made a Confirmation in over three lives. This was his fourth one, and he had never heard of anyone who had more than 5, so…

“This is my third life.” Harry said quietly. Louis could feel the anxiety in his voice, the fear coursing through the line.

“Oh.” Louis said sympathetically. “Fourth for me.”

“Huh. That’s…good, right? That we’d…”

“It is.” Louis confirmed.

“Can’t stop thinking about you.” Harry confessed, the conversation suddenly turning, swallowing Louis into the realm of arousal, hot bodies, skin on skin, lips kissing, exploring…

Louis sucked in a harsh breath. “Me neither.” Just the sound of Harry breathing over the phone had Louis stirring in his pants.

It was quiet again, both of them lost in their own thoughts. Harry broke it. “S’ your friend ok?”

Louis startled, thinking about Liam. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t thought about poor Liam once today. “Oh. Right. Liam. He’s…well, he’s upset, which is understandable. He thought that the guy he was meeting was…you know. And, well…”

“Yeah.” Harry sounded like he understood. Louis understood too. He’d had a few close calls over the years, and when they ended in disappointment there really was no way to express it. You just had to pull yourself together and get on with it.

They both started talking at once, making Louis laugh loudly in the phone. Harry barked out an adorable laugh, making Louis laugh harder. He could almost picture his eyes closed in laughter and his mouth stretched wide, which made him think of his mouth stretching wide for other things and that…well, that wasn’t really helping him stay focused.

“You go first.” Harry said when they finally stopped laughing.

Louis wiped his eyes before saying, “Was going to say…when can I see you again?” He heard Harry take a deep breath, either to catch it after laughing or at the thought of seeing Louis again, Louis couldn’t be sure.

“I have to work tonight.” Harry couldn’t mask the disappointment.

“What do you do?”

“I um…I’m a pediatric nurse. At Children’s?” Louis felt his heart melt.

“I’m a teacher. Fourth grade.”

“Wow. That’s uh…wow. Cool.” Harry sounded like he was almost speechless by Louis’ confession. Which, Louis had to admit, was how he was feeling too. The fact that they both clearly had a love for children had to mean something, right?

“So…um. Tomorrow?” Louis asked.

“Yeah. I’m off tomorrow. I’m free for dinner? Not that…Oh god. You don’t have to take me to dinner. I just meant…” Harry sounded flustered, which was….really cute.

Louis laughed and rolled his eyes. “Come to mine? I’ll make us something for dinner?”

“Sounds perfect.”

After giving Harry his address and settling on a time, they reluctantly hung up, agreeing that it would be a long wait to see each other in just over 24 hours.

****

“Honey, I’m home!” Louis bellowed as he barged into his house shortly before dinner time that evening.

He dropped his briefcase at the door and draped his coat over the bannister. He heard a muffled groan coming from the living room. It sounded like maybe Liam was waking up from a nap, so he tiptoed into the living room to check on him.

“Oh my god. Oh my god! _Liam_!” Louis shrieked, his voice shrill and bouncing off the four walls of his tastefully decorated home. There are some things one cannot unsee. And Louis just saw one of them.

Lying on the couch was his friend, his best friend, thrusting his bare arse into and on top of one squirming and very naked guy. And, oh my god, was that _Zayn_? Zayn as in not the one, not the soul mate, the one Liam spent all night crying and slobbering over Louis over?

“What the fuck Liam?” Louis shrieked again, and this was getting a little redundant; all the shrieking.

Liam, for his part, was at least attempting to look modest as he scrambled off the couch, his hard and condom covered dick bouncing between his legs as he jumped around looking for clothing and blankets. Louis averted his eyes and turned around, trying to catch his breath. “Lou…Louis, it’s not…Jesus, I didn’t know it was so late!” Liam sounded breathless, and with good reason, he’d just been pumping his cock inside of Zayn at near superhuman speed a moment ago.

“Oh god. Liam. Just…” Louis waved his hand at the scene behind him as he fled up the stairs. “Pretend I’m not here!” He yelled as he raced to his bedroom. He was going to have to steam clean the sofa. Maybe he should just throw it out. Buy a new one. Yeah.   He’s been meaning to update a few things. Might as well start with the sofa.

Right.

Bleach for the eyes would be a good thing right now, but since that might sting a little….Louis flopped down on his bed and stuffed ear buds in his ears and turned on his music.   Loud. He blissfully lost himself in music for a while until Liam bashfully stuck his head in the door. He was, thank God, fully dressed.

“Hey.” He said sheepishly, ducking inside the room and perching on the end of the bed.

Louis sat up and pulled the headphones out. “Hey. Is the coast clear?”

Liam giggled a little. “Yeah…sorry about that. I…”

“Li. It’s ok, just give a guy a little warning, you know?” Louis teased.

Liam tossed a dirty sock at Louis. They had seen each other naked, seen each other in post coital bliss, even, but never in the act itself. They had been college roomates for 3 years so they weren’t exactly modest. But still. That was a little… _shocking_. Louis told Liam so.

“Yeah. Well. Sorry. We just got carried away, you know?”

Louis reached out and squeezed Liam’s shoulder. “What happened? I mean, how did you get from being inconsolable this morning to fucking your almost soul mate on my couch this afternoon?”

Liam winced at Louis’ abruptness, but smiled nonetheless. “Well…Z called and wanted to talk. He was feeling just as bad as I was and he…well, he and I…we have so much in common and we just thought, what the hell? You know? We could just have fun, right? I mean, the sex is…” Liam lost himself in this sort of creeped out reverie.

Louis clapped his hands in front of his face. “Liam! Christ. You’re gonna get a boner just thinking about it and the come stains probably haven’t dried yet.”

“Ew. Louis!” Liam yelled, affronted. “I put a towel down for Christ’s sake. I’m not a savage!”

Louis breathed out an internal sigh of relief. So maybe no new couch.

It wasn’t uncommon for people to have partners that weren’t soulmates, but it was dangerous for people to do before they’d reached the age of singlehood. If you found your soul mate while fucking around and the other person remained a single…well, it could get ugly. Louis had heard all kinds of stories, which is why he preferred one night stands and occasional hook ups with acquaintances that he had a mutual understanding with. That is to say, people who only wanted to fuck and nothing else.

“You ok? I don’t want to see you get hurt.” Louis said finally, quietly.

“Yeah. M’ ok. I think…I think this is good for both Zayn and I. We…we could be good together.”

Louis considered it. “Yeah…but what if…”

Liam cut him off, his tone solemn and even a little bittersweet. “There’s no guarantees, Lou. You know that.”

Louis knew. No guarantees for anyone. Some of the excitement in his belly fluttered about before dying out. Harry wasn’t a guarantee and Louis needed to remember that.

“So what about you?” Liam asked, pushing Louis over so he could crawl into bed with him. “I was so out of it last night and I forgot that you looked like maybe you met someone?”

Louis smiled, despite himself. He didn’t want to make Liam feel bad but he was bursting at the seams to tell someone. “Yeah…uh…Harry. His name’s Harry.”

Liam flopped back on a pillow, twirling Louis’ ear buds in between his thick fingers. Louis could smell sex faintly clinging to his best friend’s skin, but it didn’t bother him. Lord knows it was better than Liam after a basketball game, so… “Tell me about him.” Liam said, not looking up at Louis.

Louis swallowed. He was careful not to sound too excited. “Yeah. Well, not much to tell. We just kind of saw eachother at the bar and, well, one thing led to another and….you know.”

“Did you feel it?” Liam asked slowly, his eyes finally meeting his friend’s.

Louis slid alongside Liam in the bed, wrapping his arm around his torso and slotting his head on to his shoulder. “Yeah. I think so.” He said quietly after a moment.

Liam pushed up and looked down at Louis, still cradling him in his strong arm. “Lou? Hey. I don’t want you to hold back or feel bad or something because Z and I didn’t…you know?”

Louis nodded his head but still had a hard time letting his excitement show. He was still not completely sure himself so he supposed he was protecting Liam just as much as he was protecting himself. “Yeah. I know. Just…we’ll see. Anyway!” He sat up and clapped his hands. “What’s the plan for dinner? I’m thinking pizza and maybe a Chopped marathon.”

Liam tousled Louis’ hair and squeezed him in a famous Liam bear hug. “Sounds perfect, Lou.” He said, mouth muffled by the top of Louis’ hair. Louis exhaled a breath he didn’t even know he was holding and squeezed back. They were going to be ok. It was going to work out.

****

In the history of days, Tuesday at work was probably the slowest day of Louis’ life. It dragged on and on and on and then on some more. The kids were irritable and so was Louis. There were glue spills a plenty during an art project and someone let the guinea pig out of its cage (no one took the fall—resulting in everyone staying at their seats during indoor recess). The kids were that kind of cranky manic moodiness that settles in just before a holiday or break from school. Friday was Valentine’s Day and Louis had promised them a small party with treats and they could share their homemade valentine cards they would be working on this week. He had already threatened to take away the party twice today. That was a clear measurement of how the day was going.

 

Louis felt frazzled and completely drained by the time he dragged himself to his car after 4:00. He just wanted a bath and a quiet night.

A quiet night with Harry.

In the bath, perhaps.

Dinner first. Maybe some conversation. A bottle of wine. See where things went. Louis felt his dark mood evaporating with each block he drove toward his little bungalow on the edge of town.

Harry lived a few towns over from Louis’ but promised he’d be to Louis’ place by 6:00. Liam, thankfully, had cleared out last night, after pizza and tele, taking with him the scent of sex and careless abandon. He seemed ok when he left and he made Louis promise to call him after his date with Harry to let him know how it went.

Entering his house, Louis felt a moment of panic. He wasn’t exactly a _slob_ , per say. He just wasn’t super neat. Looking around the house and then up at the clock he saw that he had about an hour to tidy up and throw something together for dinner.

Luckily, his mum was a great cook. A great cook who always sent him home with freezer ready leftovers.

Dragging two portions of lasagna Florentine from the freezer, Louis opened a bottle of shiraz and preheated the oven. He raced around the house picking up dirty dishes and clothes that never made it to the laundry room. He was a little wistful that he wouldn’t be able to do a proper vacuuming, but it would have to do.

He had just enough time to jump in the shower, skipping a shave in favor of a deep full body cleanse (who knew where tonight would be heading?). He pulled on a pair of black jeggings and a fitted scoop neck white t-shirt just as he heard the doorbell ring. His hair was a damp fluffy mess on his head, but the air was scented with his mum’s homemade tomato sauce and the clean smell of his sandalwood body wash.

Hopping down the stairs, Louis could feel a slight tug in his groin, making him pause at the second stair from the bottom. “Oh.” He wondered, rubbing his hand over his lower tummy. That was…a good sign. He didn’t know what he expected when he opened the door to let Harry in his home, but he was pleasantly surprised by the full body heat that ravaged his skin and the familiar swirl of golden hued colors that seemed to seep from Harry’s skin into his own. Like at the barn two nights previous, Louis felt engulfed in that thrumming, pulsing, vibrating sensation. And he was awash in muted colors. The colors seemed to cascade over his entire body and then swirl around him and Harry, just standing on the threshold, less than a foot away. It felt surreal, yet grounding in an oddly comforting way.

Harry was beautiful, standing in the doorway, lean and eager, his mouth open in a little O. Louis could feel that thumping sensation again in his chest, stronger than Sunday, as he looked Harry in the eye, completely speechless. His body was taut and he felt like Harry could render him completely incapacitated with just one touch. Slowly, speechless, Louis surrendered to the wooziness that had taken him over and staggered backward, dropping to the stair case, sitting on the third stair with a loud “oomph”.

“Are you…?” Harry stumbled in the door, kicking it shut behind him and dropping to the floor with a small brown paper bag in his hands. He looked about as weakened as Louis felt. He managed to crawl the two feet to where Louis had unceremoniously dropped and sat next to him, their shoulders touching and calves pressed together.

That seemed to help. Touching seemed to help.

Louis could still feel the intensity of Harry’s body heat; even more acutely now, his blood practically pumping out a rhythm that sounded like “wantwantwant” in his ears. Tonight, that thumping vibration seemed to take over his entire body, crowding his bloodstream and stealing his lungs of oxygen. It wasn’t altogether unpleasant, though. It was more like…like the feeling of a drug starting to seep into his bloodstream; that all-encompassing anticipation tingling at his skin, tickling at every cell in his body. It was too hot all at once. Too much. But not enough at the same time.  All he could think about was Harry, Harry’s hands, Harry’s lips, Harry’s body pressed to his…It was all _consuming_.

Harry seemed to feel it too as he moved slowly into Louis’ space and pressed him backward on the stair case and rolled them so he could lay on top of Louis’ smaller frame, his movements slow and deliberate; almost like he _needed_ to be on top of Louis, incapable of stopping himself. Harry’s knees bracketed Louis’ body around his hips, his hips rolling fluidly against Louis’ suddenly, the friction barely enough; not even a ghost of what they both needed. It seemed Louis had grown hard in just mere seconds, simply from the proximity of Harry, the closeness of him.

Louis groaned when Harry pushed his tongue inside his mouth and proceeded to kiss him with intense desire, tongue swirling, lips sucking at Louis’. Louis could feel the hard lines of Harry’s body pressed up against him as the incessant thrumming in his veins receded. The only thing that seemed to lessen the crazy eddy of pulling and shaking that he felt deep within was touching Harry, kissing him, _feeling_ him. The only thing he could think of was kissing Harry, being with Harry…it was nearly maddening, but incredibly _right_ at the same time.

They kissed for a long time, long enough that they were both breathless and Louis couldn’t ignore the hard wood of the stair pressing into his back. Or the hard line of Harry’s cock pressing into his hip.

“H…Harry.” He breathed out, shuddery and low.

Harry sat back on to Louis’ lap, pulling Louis upright so the stair wasn’t digging into his back. Harry’s hands were in Louis’ hair and their foreheads pressed together. Louis’ strong legs held Harry up and his hands made their way up and down the strong lines of Harry’s broad back. Harry’s hair was pulled back in an army green and pink floral print scarf that Louis found incredibly sexy in a weird way. Louis took note of the fact that Harry was wearing a silky pink shirt with an embroidered bird over one side and sinfully tight black jeans. He shuddered and sent up a silent prayer of thanks that this quirky, insanely hot and sweet guy seemed to maybe, just maybe, be his soulmate.

Slowly, as their breathing became more normal, Harry eased off of Louis’ lap, making Louis whine a little at the loss of full contact, but their arms and legs were still touching, keeping that odd thrumming sensation to a dull throb. Louis thought idly that the kissing and proximity of their bodies to one another seemed to offer a bittersweet relief from the Pull.

“Shit.” Was all Harry said, completely speechless as he pulled on his bottom lip with two fingers.

Louis let out one hoarse laugh and reached out to tangle their fingers together, still feeling slightly breathless as he willed his dick to behave. He was _so_ hard. Hard and already his mind was filled with images of what Harry would look like naked, spread out on his bed, underneath him...

He wondered if it was like this for everyone. Did all soul mates feel this…this inescapable need? This cellular level necessity to just touch? Their hands slotted together easily, almost like they belonged together. Louis smiled at that, completely engrossed in the way Harry’s skin felt on his. In some ways it felt like he’d always been holding Harry’s hand. And he couldn’t imagine not holding it.

“Can you…do you want dinner?” Louis asked, finally able to compose a clear thought.

“I’m starved!” Harry laughed.

Louis laughed too and looked at him closely for the first time since he tumbled in the doorway.   “Glad you came.”

“Me too.” Harry whispered, his voice gravelly and his cheeks flushed.

After staring into each other’s eyes for a moment more, Louis sighed and pulled Harry upright and toward the kitchen, not dropping his hand until it was absolutely necessary.

“Hope you like lasagna Florentine?” Louis asked as Harry slid into one of the sparkly red vinyl chairs at Louis’ round retro table.

“Love it.” Harry’s reply came from behind Louis as Louis bent to pull the pan from the oven.

Louis heard Harry suck in a harsh breath behind him. He placed the steaming pan on top of the stove gingerly and looked over his shoulder at Harry. “You alright?” He said, concern in his voice, only to find Harry staring at his bum. Oh. That was. Well.

“Your arse…” Harry said, his tone full of wonder and a faraway look in his eyes. Louis’ own eyes rounded as his finally softening cock took interest again. Harry slapped a hand over his mouth, his own eyes bulging and shocked. “Jesus! _Louis_. I’m so sorry. God. I can’t believe I just said that.”

Louis laughed and carried the pan to the table. “It’s ok, Harry, really. I’m flattered.”   He said sincerely. It was sweet, Louis thought, especially the way Harry was averting his eyes now. “Really.” Louis said again, pecking Harry on the cheek, inhaling the scent of his skin. Black pepper and chamomile. It was unique, spicy and sweet, utterly Harry.

“Now. Dig in.” Louis said, sliding into the chair across from Harry.

Louis gently plated their lasagna and poured the wine. Harry arched an eyebrow as Louis gestured toward Harry’s fork and plate. “Fancy.” He said, his eyebrow arched.

Louis smirked. “Only the best for my guests.” He snickered and picked up his fork and put a steaming mouthful on the metal tines. Harry followed suit, blew on it, and moaned around a mouthful. The sound went straight to Louis’ cock, not to mention the obscene pucker of Harry’s pursed lips as he cooled the food.

“Oh my god. _Louis_.” Harry said, a bit of sauce trapped in the corner of his mouth. “This is amazing.”

Louis’ mouth curved into a half smile. “Thanks. It’s me mum’s. Can’t take credit for it.”

“Well, it’s amazing. And thank you for making it for me.” Louis felt Harry link his calf around his under the small table. The ever present thrumming in his body surged and then subsided a bit. He was starting to notice that with Harry near him it was always in the background but when Harry was touching him it seemed to fade into something more comfortable, tingly almost.

“So, Harry.” Louis began, his voice soft. “I know you are a nurse. With kids.”

“Hm-hm.” Harry confirmed around a mouthful.

“What else do I need to know?”

“What else do you _want_ to know?” Harry teased, taking a sip of the deep claret colored wine.

“Well, like…you aren’t a mass murderer or something are you?” Louis laughed, because even he knew it sounded ridiculous.

Harry laughed back and took another big bite of food. Louis noticed that he stuck his tongue out before the fork even made it to his mouth. It made Louis smile even bigger than he already was. He was just so cute, was the thing.

“Nope. Not a _mass_ murderer. I mean…I only killed one or two people so…I wouldn’t consider it _mass_ …”

Louis giggled, making Harry smile, his dimples showing proudly on his smooth pale skin. They bantered throughout the rest of the dinner, sharing stories about their families, work, where they went to college…everything just clicked, Louis couldn’t help but feel that sublime feeling in the cavity of his chest like everything just fit. Everything was as it should be. Louis could imagine a lifetime of dinners with Harry. A lifetime of laughing and kissing, fucking.

That last one gave Louis a shiver up his spine.

The best part of finding your soulmate was that, for the rest of your lives, all of your lives, you would come back with the same person, eternally bound together. What had always seemed so far out of reach was now just _there_ for Louis. Sitting right across from him. Telling silly jokes and laughing at the stupid faces he was making. And it was… _unbelievable_ , is what it was. At least that’s what Louis hoped it was. He was honestly so swept up in the feeling of just being with this beautiful boy in his cozy kitchen, warm and safe while the cold February night surrounded his tiny little house…it was almost too good to be true.

Louis couldn’t let himself think like that.   Not yet, anyway.

After Louis put the dishes in the sink and they sat sipping tea and eating a few of the sweet biscuits Louis laid out (thanks again, mum) Harry reached out and pulled Louis’ hand into his. Louis marveled at how warm Harry was, how perfectly his hand fit inside his. Louis looked down at their hands in wonder, a small swirl of glittery color entwined with their fingers.

“Do you think this is _it_?” Harry put into words exactly what Louis was thinking, his voice barely a whisper, so quiet Louis strained to hear it.

Louis smiled wistfully and rubbed his thumb over the back of Harry’s hand, making little circles over the small cross that was tattooed at the juncture between Harry’s thumb and first finger. “I do. But…”

“There’s only one way to find out…” Harry finished the thought, his voice deeper and slower than before, the cadence like turquoise blue water flowing over a white sandy beach; smooth and clear.

Louis gulped. “Yeah….only one way.” He could feel his dick taking interest in the direction of this conversation. To be fair, he’d been at half-mast all night.

Harry looked deep into Louis’ eyes, the bright green of them receding gradually as Louis watched the pupils dilate slowly, deliberately.   “Right.”

Louis licked his lips and thought, there were only two ways this night could end. Well, three actually. One, they could fuck and discover they were soulmates. Happy times. They could fuck and find out they weren’t actually soulmates. A complete travesty. They could not fuck. And, what?

“So, Harry; here’s the thing. I’m kinda…” Harry looked at Louis, completely relaxed and patient and Louis really wanted to kiss him for it. “I’m kinda scared.” Louis knew he sounded like a weenie, but he couldn’t help it. He was scared. He’d had too many close calls and he…he just didn’t want to chance it again. Harry just seemed so so very special. Already Louis knew he was different and he hoped it was because of the soulbond. But he wanted to be sure.

Harry stood up smoothly and pulled Louis up with him, folding him into his arms and pulling their chests together. The ever present vibrations and swirl of colors that had surrounded them all night, fading into the background as they got to know each other surged forward again. Louis’ breath caught in his throat when he felt Harry’s big sure hands slowly sweep down his back and settle on the curve of his arse.

“Louis, I won’t lie. I want you. More than anything I’ve ever wanted before. But...” He breathed into Louis’ hair. Louis could feel Harry’s impressive dick starting to stiffen up against him. He swallowed hard. “I don’t want to force you to do anything you don’t want to, ok? Promise. I’ll wait.”

Louis squeezed Harry tight. It would really suck if Harry wasn’t his soulmate because he was _really_ nice. Hot _and_ nice. Shit. He looked up into Harry’s eyes, sparks flying; the arousal pooling just below the surface. “Ok.” He said, sounding unsure but knowing he needed to take his time this time.

“Ok.” Harry said back, looking down at Louis, running his thumb over Louis’ bottom lip. Louis felt his heart race and his mouth go dry.

“So…” Louis whispered, his eyes flickering from Harry’s eyes to his mouth and then back again. Harry’s mouth was really, really pretty. It looked like maybe he hadn’t shaved in a day or two. Louis imagined what that light scruff would feel like scratching along his neck, between his legs, up the crack of his…

Harry stopped Louis’ train of thought with a soft, deep kiss. Their tongues met in a soft gentle slide, making Louis sigh softly. Harry’s teeth scraped along Louis’ bottom lip as he sucked Louis’ lip between his own. Louis tangled his hands in Harry’s hair, pulling at the scarf until it floated down to Harry’s shoulder and then to the ground. “Love your hair…” Louis moaned lightly as Harry’s mouth made its way down behind Louis’ ear. He nipped at Louis’ ear lobe.

“Hm.” Was all Harry said, his fingers kneading into Louis’ arse, his hands strong and sure and so, so perfect on Louis’ body. Louis felt himself getting pulled under, the feeling of Harry’s mouth, his hands and that intoxicating pull of lust and connectivity almost too much to resist.

Louis guided Harry’s face to his own so he could capture his mouth in a hot wet kiss. Harry groaned deeply and rolled his hips into Louis’. Louis could feel every line and ridge of Harry’s muscular frame. “God. You feel so good.” Louis whined against Harry’s lips.

Harry exhaled and Louis could smell peppermint tea and the hint of garlic from his mum’s sauce on his breath. Louis ran his nose against Harry’s, pulling him in to a warm embrace. He just felt so _good_. They felt so good, _together_. Harry hugged back, his body fitting into Louis’ easily. “I should go.” Harry whispered against Louis’ ear.

Louis nodded and hugged him harder. It was weird, only knowing Harry for a few days but still feeling this piercing pain in his chest at the thought of him leaving. Louis knew it was silly, but he still couldn’t help the tears that sprang to his eyes, quick and unbidden. He blinked them back and leaned back. “One more kiss?”

“How could I say no?” Harry said, his voice rough and his hands at Louis’ hips again. Louis noted that Harry seemed as reluctant to go as Louis felt.

Harry pressed his lips to Louis’ mouth again, tender and innocent. Just a warm brush of wet lips. Louis sighed again, an easy contentedness washing over him. “When can I see you again?”

Harry clasped his hands behind Louis’ back and swayed them to some internal song only Harry was privy to. “Have to work tomorrow and Thursday. Twelve hour shifts.” Harry said slowly, staring into Louis’ eyes. Louis felt giddy and warm, Harry’s intent stare only making him warmer.

“Friday?” Louis rasped, kissing the dimple to the left of Harry’s mouth, making Harry smile wider.

“Valentine’s day?” Harry teased, leaning back to look at Louis again. His eyebrows rose high on his wide forehead, his hair swept off his face artfully, curls cascading around his ears and neck.

“Right. Valentine’s day. Unless you don’t want to?” Louis asked, feeling timid all of a sudden, not sure that Harry was feeling what he was feeling.

Harry cradled Louis’ cheeks in both hands, Louis’ heart beat stuttering as he pushed out a shuddery exhale. “There’s no place I’d rather be.” Harry affirmed, kissing Louis again, stealing his breath and making his pulse jump in his throat.

The kiss grew heated quickly, Louis’ body responding to Harry’s immediately. It was like Harry had a switch and all he had to do was flick it to turn Louis on and off. Mostly on. Louis tugged on Harry’s hair, almost accidentally, Harry rewarding him with a low, deep, almost feral growl.

“Hair…it’s…a thing…for you?” Louis asked, nipping at Harry’s bottom lip, licking down and across his neck and collarbones, stopping to bite here and there gently.

“Fuck, yes.” Harry said, his hips moving again, rolling smoothly so that his cock bumped Louis’ rhythmically. Louis wanted to fuck Harry right there on his kitchen floor. Or maybe over his kitchen table. Or, Christ, maybe even on the stairs leading to his bedroom. Or Harry could fuck him. It didn’t matter. All he knew is that it wasn’t a question of if; it was a question of when. Louis wanted it to be sooner rather than later, but the fact was he was still scared. Still hoping that this was really it. Finally it. But afraid to find out.

“H…Harry. I…” Louis breathed out against Harry’s neck, Harry slowing his standing thrusts, stopping altogether and sliding his hands up and down Louis’ back, clearly trying to calm his body and breathing.

“I know. I…M’ sorry. It’s just…” Harry exhaled, pulling Louis’ closer, even though there was barely an inch between them. “It’s just you get me so hard. So hot. I just can’t…I want….”

Louis giggled. Harry was having as hard a time as he was putting the feeling into words. “I know. It’s…I know.” He said, finally pulling away, cringing as the thrumming vibrations grew in intensity the further he got from Harry.

Harry put his hands in his pockets and smiled sheepishly at Louis. Wordlessly, Louis took his hand and walked him toward the front door. Harry’s coat was on the floor right where they left it when he came in and they fell to the stairs together. The box Harry came in with was there too, discarded and forgotten, looking a little crumpled.

“Oh! Hey! I forgot. I brought you…I brought dessert.” Harry bent at the knees to retrieve the box.

Louis smiled and pushed his hair from his face, letting go of Harry’s hand to accept the package. “What is it?”

Harry smiled again, his dimples popping out and his white teeth showing in the dim foyer light. “Sugar cookies. They’re…um…lovebirds.”

Louis laughed out loud. “Of course they are.” He said, smiling at Harry and his cute face and lovely, lovely cookies.

Harry backed up to the door. Louis knew he shouldn’t kiss him again; knew it would only make him want to stay more. “See you Friday.” Harry said as he opened the door.

“Friday.” Louis said back, leaning against the door frame. Friday seemed a long, long way from now. Louis hoped it would go fast.

*****

So, the thing they don’t tell you about soulbonds is that once you think you’ve found it it’s pretty much all you can think about. You can’t think about 4th grade arithmetic when you are wondering what Harry is doing right now. You can’t talk to your mum on the phone when you are thinking about what the inside of Harry’s arse feels like wrapped around your hard leaking cock. It’s pretty much impossible to do anything when all you can think about is Harry, Harry, Harry.

Fuck it.

Louis was a lost cause. He tried to go about his work, his life, but it was increasingly proving to be more and more difficult knowing that Harry was out there. Despite Liam’s adamant insistence that he was ok, Louis felt bad confiding in his friend too much. He told him dinner had gone well and that they had plans to see each other Friday, but that was all. As the week progressed, Louis felt more and more isolated and he was quickly becoming lost in thoughts of what would happen if Harry wasn’t his soulmate.

On Thursday night Louis made a mistake. He googled “failed soulbonds”. He’d done this once or twice before when he thought he might have found the one. But those were silly little infatuations; nothing like what he was feeling with Harry. The first time he thought he’d found his mate was when he had just turned 18, the optimism of youth getting the better of him, and then a second time was when he picked up a guy after at a music festival, drunkenly engaging in tent sex and feeling miserably jilted when it turned out the bond had evaded him again. With Harry, everything felt different. The odd, all consuming feeling of his body losing control was the most notable difference with Harry. He’d never felt that before. Lust, sure, he’d felt lust lots of times. But not that woozy need to _touch_.

But this time…this time was different. Louis wanted to know what to expect. He wanted to prepare himself for heartbreak if it came his way again. For so long Louis had kept himself guarded, not letting hope grab hold of him again, he’d just managed to keep it together through a handful of failed trysts and sexual encounters that just scratched an itch. But this time…this time _felt_ different. And Louis was so so scared that it could go all wrong. And if it did…well, if it did, Louis didn’t think he could let himself try ever again.

Once hope wriggles its way into your soul, into your heart, it’s really hard to let it out again.

So…Louis googled.

He read article after article and first-hand accounts of what the Pull felt like and, more devastatingly, what happened when a Confirmation went wrong, when the people involved were just sure, positive, that it was the real thing. Late into the night, until his eyes burned and his head ached, Louis read. He felt dread seep into his bones. Like siphoning gasoline from a tank, he felt all of the optimism and excitement for what he had with Harry leave his body. He wondered if he’d ever find happiness. If he’d ever know what true love, soulbonding, really felt like.

After 1:00 am he texted Harry.

L: _you awake?_

H: _just got home from work. You ok?_

L: _yeah…just scared._

A few seconds went by.

H: _me too._

Louis exhaled loudly in his empty house. He looked around at the small, comfortable rooms he called home. He’d let himself imagine once or twice over the years what it would be like to share his home with someone else. To hear the sounds of babies crying, children laughing, happiness blooming like flowers in a garden…Late at night, much like tonight, he’d chase loneliness away with dreams of having a mate, a family, everything that he could want, right here in his little bungalow in his little town in his little corner of the world.

Tonight the thought of filling his home with a husband, children, pets even, made his heart ache.

Flicking off the lights, Louis made his way to his bedroom, pulling off his work clothes as he went. He went to his en suite to brush his teeth and wash his face, melancholy settling over him like nightfall. Part of him wanted to just cancel with Harry tomorrow. He was so afraid of the loss that may or may not be waiting at his doorstep. It nearly had him immobilized with fear. Yet…he’d never felt anything like what he had with Harry before. That crazy bodily reaction; the need to be near him, touching him, kissing him. It was all encompassing. It was all so confusing, is what it was. And Louis was just torn up about it.

Crawling into bed, Louis rubbed his eyes, fatigue taking over, willing his body to succumb to sleep. He placed his phone on his charger and turned off the light. The last thought he had before falling asleep was that he hoped the dread pooling in his stomach was just nerves, just residual anxiety over the pressure of this maybe being his last chance.

*****

There was a boat.

Louis was on a boat and he was far at sea. It was a yacht, actually. A gleaming white yacht and it was a beautiful crystal blue sky kind of day. He was waiting for Harry to bring him a beer. He didn’t feel rushed. Didn’t feel stressed. Just felt…relaxed. Calm.

There was a faraway tapping; almost like someone hammering a nail rhythmically into a board. But it was far away. Too far for Louis to be bothered with it. “Harry?” He called.

He was answered only by that tapping. It was getting louder now. Louder and more insistent. “Harry?” He called again, his voice carrying out over the clear sea. Maybe he needed help. Louis got up and felt like he was gliding across the bow of the boat. He got closer and closer to the sound. It was louder now, kind of annoying. Ruining the bliss that had surrounded him just moments ago…

With a start, Louis sat up in bed, a cold sweat covering his body, the blankets having fallen to the floor. He looked around wildly for a second and realized two things at once: 1, he was dreaming he was on a yacht and, 2, there was a banging coming from downstairs.

Stumbling out of bed, Louis walked to the hallway, snapping on the stairwell light. The banging was coming from the front door. Someone was knocking on the front door. Glancing back at his bedside table Louis could see it was 3:30am.

“Louis? Lou?” Someone was calling his name from outside.

Was that,,,? Was that Harry?

Louis flew down the stairs and whipped open the door, icy cold air swirling inside, followed by an artic flurry of snowflakes. Harry practically fell inside, his eyelashes coated with white snow, body shivering covered only in a thin black and white striped wool coat, open at the throat, long red scarf trailing behind him. “Harry?” Louis croaked, his voice sleep addled, eyes bleary.

“Louis. God. _Louis_.” Harry slammed the door behind him and tore his coat off in one quick motion. He wrapped his long arms around Louis’ sleepy body.

Louis was startled and still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that Harry was here. Here, at his house in the middle of the night. “What…what are you doing here?” He said, pulling back from Harry’s warm body.

“I just…I tried texting you a few times and you didn’t answer and I…I was worried. So…when I didn’t hear back I just came over. I…” Harry pushed his hair off of his face; his eyes were bright and shiny with tears, his lips red and cheeks red and windburned. Jesus, how long had he been standing out there?

“Harry?” Louis was so confused. The relentless thumping in his chest, his very soul, was back, beating out a rhythm that was now a comforting presence when Louis was near Harry. It made Louis swim in his skin and teeter closer and closer to Harry’s near frozen body just inside Louis’ foyer.

Harry surged forward and pressed his lips to Louis’, heat and passion searing Louis’ skin everywhere Harry’s hands touched. After a second’s hesitation, Louis kissed back, giving himself over to Harry, letting go of everything from earlier in the night. With Harry here, and that pleasant thrumming in his veins ebbing and flowing like water sloshing over the side of a rowboat, Louis felt all of the worry and fear from earlier melt away. He hoped Harry could feel all that he couldn’t say, feel his resistance leave his body, finally letting go and letting Harry in.

“ _Fuck_. Needed to see you.” Harry moaned, pulling his t-shirt over his head. “Couldn’t wait.” His breath was ragged against Louis’ neck as he sucked on the skin there, pulling at it with his teeth, licking over it with his hot firm tongue. Louis moaned in pleasure at the feeling of Harry’s bare torso on his. Miles of smooth tattooed skin tingled under Louis’ palms. Louis slid his hands over Harry’s firm biceps, down his pectoral muscles and over his twitching abs. He traced the lines of his shoulder blades and felt the indents of his hip bones at his sides. His body was unreal and it was all for Louis. All for Louis’ taking.  

Louis felt his body go pliant in Harry’s arms, felt Harry’s frantic hands touching him everywhere, felt the room explode in color as they kissed, and kissed some more. “ _Harry_.” Louis moaned, pulling at the drawstring of Harry’s turquoise blue medical scrubs.

Harry’s hands were in Louis’ hair, pulling his head to the side so he could reach the sensitive skin of his neck, his collar bone, his shoulder. Louis freed Harry of his pants, leaving the two of them in the middle of Louis’ entryway in just their underwear and a puddle of melting snow. “Is this ok? Please say this is ok?” Harry whispered harshly, bringing Louis’ mouth to his.

Louis licked into Harry’s mouth, his tongue firm and unyielding, sparks igniting under his skin, the heat between them licking at every nerve ending in Louis’ body.   “Yes. Yes. _God_. Yes. _Harry_ …” Louis kissed Harry again, feeling Harry pull at his arse, making their bodies collide over and over again as passion consumed them.

“Up. Upstairs.” Louis finally breathed out when Harry broke away and slid his hands inside the back of Louis’ underwear. Louis felt his whole body ring with that inexplicable vibration again. He felt like the strings of a harp, being pulled and played by Harry’s nimble fingers, their moans and harsh breaths a shared piece of music between them.

They bumped their way up the stairs, never leaving each other’s bodies without a hand, a tongue or skin touching. “Harry…I…” Louis pushed Harry to the wall next to his bedroom door at the top of the stairs. Harry’s hand dropped to the bulge in Louis’ boxer briefs, making him momentarily forget his train of thought.

“Yeah?” Harry’s voice was deep, rough and gravelly, like sandpaper over splintered wood; earthy and laced with deep want.

“I’m so glad you came.” Louis said, finally, when he was able to form words again, the pressure of Harry’s big hot hand so perfect on his length.

Harry turned them around so Louis was smashed between him and the wall, his hands trapped between Louis’ bum and the hard drywall. Harry pulled at Louis’ cheeks through the thin fabric and pushed his pelvis forward. Their mouths crashed together in another heated round of kissing, getting messier and more frantic by the second. All Louis could think was how desperately he wanted to do this; be with Harry in the most intimate way, join their bodies and feel all of Harry. He let his fingers tangle in Harry’s wet hair, the snow completely melted now, dripping over his shoulders and down an uneven line on his back. Yanking firmly, but not too hard to cause pain, Louis pulled Harry’s mouth away from his and looked him in the eye.

“Want you.” Louis was surprised at the sound of his own voice. Desperate, reedy and airy, not the usual calm soft tone it usually had.

Harry pulled Louis up by the back of his thighs, so that he could lift him, their cocks pressed together perfectly at this new angle. They moaned in unison, Harry’s deep and reverberating, Louis’ high and scratchy. It sounded like the most perfect harmony. “How do you…want to do this?” Harry whispered against Louis’ mouth, stumbling into the open door of the bedroom. He frog marched them the few feet to the bed and eased Louis’ down carefully on top of the rumpled sheets.

Their mouths found each other again, unable to stop kissing, the feel of their mouths together so completely hot and perfect. Louis loved the way Harry tasted. He tasted like he smelled, peppery and sweet, natural like some kind of simple herb, but still smooth and clean. Breaking the kiss, Louis asked, “Do you have, like, a preference?”

“No…” Harry said, gently pushing Louis’ hair from his forehead and peering down into his eyes. “I’m fine either way, but I’d really like you to fuck me first. If that’s ok?” He bit his full bottom lip and waited for Louis to reply.

Louis’ brain had short circuited and his cock had kind of taken over his ability to form words for a moment. “Uh…yeah. Um… Ok.” He stuttered, making Harry laugh on top of him.

“Yeah?” Harry peppered Louis’ face with small wet kisses, over his cheekbones, across his nose until he finally landed at his mouth.

“Yeah.” Louis sighed, opening his mouth once more, releasing a deep groan as Harry ground down over his erection, and scratching his nails down Harry’s back. Harry arched his back and exposed his neck for Louis to nip at.

“Fuck, Louis.” Harry whined as Louis flipped them with a show of agility, attacking Harry’s neck again. Harry seemed to like it a little rough, a tug of hair or a harsh scrape of teeth, so Louis worked to give him what he wanted, reveling in the sounds from the man underneath him.

Now that Louis had some direction, knew what Harry wanted, what he had come for, Louis worked toward the end goal: making Harry feel as good as he deserved, as good as Louis felt he deserved. He made his way down Harry’s body, rolling a nipple between his teeth and tongue and deftly pulling at another with his fingertips. Harry arched his body off the bed and rewarded Louis with a string of curse words and an athletic thrust of his hips. “Fuckfuckfuck. _Louis_. That…aaah!”

Louis smirked and looked up at Harry, and Christ, was he beautiful. He sat up and straddled Harry’s hips, pressing his arse into Harry’s hard cock and looked down at him, fingertips still rolling Harry’s sensitive nubs in small pulls and tugs. Harry let out these pretty little moans with each ministration, his body reacting perfectly. “Harry. You are so fucking beautiful. So…glad you…you’re here.” Louis punctuated each word with a grind of his arse over Harry’s damp undershorts.

“ _You_.” Harry surged up and pulled Louis down so they could kiss, a messy tangle of tongues and heat, no real finesse, just arousal and pure desire. “ _You_ are beautiful.” Harry finished, pulling Louis’ underwear down over his bum, the elastic stretching over his hole, making it clench involuntarily.

Quickly, Louis moved off of Harry and pulled his underwear off. He fumbled in his bedside drawer for lube. Shit. He realized with a start that he didn’t have any condoms.

“Shit. Harry.” Harry opened his eyes, his hands stilling over his nipples, where they were playing quite similarly to how Louis had been just moments before.

“Hm? Wha…” Louis smiled at Harry despite the potential crisis. He was so far gone, his dick standing upright in his thin cotton boxers. He looked big, Louis thought, gulping, looking forward to when Harry would fuck him too.

“I…um…I don’t have condoms. Was going to stop after work today…” Louis said, apologetically, nibbling on his bottom lip.

Harry slid his shorts off of his long legs, kicking them off the bed. The light streaming in through the door cast shadows over Harry’s pretty face, but his long, full, impossibly hard cock was easy to see. Louis’ mouth watered. Christ. Everything about Harry was gorgeous. Right down to his fucking cock.

“S’ ok Lou. I…um…I’ve never…” Harry’s deep voice dropped to an embarrassed whisper.

Louis rolled over so their bodies were pressed together because just a few inches seemed too far. He looked into Harry’s eyes. “Harry, you’ve never…been with anyone?”

Harry’s hands ran up and down Louis’ sides as his hips moved in tiny little involuntary circles, providing just the tiniest bit of friction. Louis could feel the now familiar throbbing of the Pull but also another throbbing, between his legs; the need to find release overpowering him. “No. I haven’t…haven’t really wanted to, til you.”

The words hung in the quiet air between them while they looked deep into each other’s eyes. Louis swallowed and felt his heart soar. He knew he had to make this special for Harry, good for Harry, because if this wasn’t it for them, wasn’t the bond, then, he wanted Harry to feel like it had been worth it.

“Is that…is that ok?” Harry asked nervously.

Louis’ eyes flickered from Harry’s mouth back up to his eyes. Harry looked genuinely unsure. Louis felt such immense affection for the boy underneath him; it took over his body in a tidal wave of emotion. “Yes, my _god_. Yes, of course it’s ok. I just…want it to be good for you.” Louis rasped, kissing him softly. “Want it to be worth it.”

Harry sat up and pulled Louis to his chest, Louis’ legs folding around his back. “It will be worth it, Louis. If it’s with you.”

Louis smiled and kissed Harry back. “I’ve only been with a few people and it’s all been safe…” He said when they broke their kiss. “I…uh…I get tested ever six months just to be sure and I’m clear.”

“Ok. Ok then. It’s settled.” Harry said, voice just above a whisper, deep green eyes boring into Louis’ dark blue ones. “Louis?”

“Yeah?”

“Will you please fuck me now?”

Louis smirked and kissed the tip of Harry’s nose. “It would be my pleasure.” He said, politely, at the same time as he gripped Harry’s leaking cock between them. Harry let out a harsh breath, throwing his head back, thrusting his hips up into Louis’ dry hand.

“Slowly, love. Slowly. Lay back. Let me take care of you.” Louis whispered at Harry’s adam’s apple, gently pushing him back and squeezing his cock gently once more before removing his hand and opening the lube. “Gonna get you ready for me, ok. Don’t want it to hurt, right?”

Harry nodded his head frantically, opening his legs and fisting the sheets. Louis felt that overwhelming sense of raw emotion again. Here he was worried about going too fast for his own sake, when Harry was a virgin and willing to give it all to Louis. Louis shook his head and dribbled more lube over his fingers. He’d have to make _sure_ it was good.

“Tell me if it’s too much, ok Harry?”

Harry nodded and whispered, “Ok.” He propped a pillow behind his head to see better. “Ok if I watch?” He asked timidly as Louis lowered himself between his legs.

“Of course love. I’m next, right?” Louis said wryly, humor echoing in his words.

Harry toed at his bare arse, making Louis giggle. All teasing evaporated, though, when Louis fit his mouth over Harry’s cock head, swirling his tongue lightly, spreading saliva and precome over his slit. Harry hissed and tensed his legs, his hips shaking with the effort to not thrust up into Louis’ mouth.

“That’s it, Harry. Just let me take care of you.” Louis whispered against his shaft, tracing the veins and ridges with his tongue. His hand slipped between Harry’s legs, the lube warmed between his fingers, as his middle finger circled Harry’s rim.

“Oh Jesus Christ, _Louis_.” Harry practically shouted, as Louis took Harry’s cock fully in his mouth and pushed his finger in slowly to the first knuckle simultaneously.

Louis hummed around Harry’s dick, hallowing his cheeks and sucking softly, letting his tongue play with the soft obscenely stretched skin covering Harry’s length. He looked up at Harry, whose eyes were open wide, and his mouth wider as he watched Louis with unabashed ecstasy. Louis idly wondered if Harry had ever been on the receiving end of a blow job. Louis slid up and down Harry’s length a few times, swirling his tongue at the head and dipping his tongue into Harry’s oozing slit. Harry moaned pornographically above him, which Louis took as a good sign to sink his finger in further. As he did so, Harry tensed and pulled in a harsh breath.

Louis popped off with an obscene slurp. “S’ ok love. Just try to relax, yeah? Let me in and I’ll make it feel good. Ok?” Louis’ voice was already halfway to sounding wrecked just from the excitement and the sheer size of Harry’s cock in his mouth, bumping at the back of his throat even though he could barely get half of it down.

“Yeah, yeah.” Harry moaned, opening his legs fuller.

“Play with your nipples, yeah?” Louis gave Harry a gentle order, which Harry complied with right away.   Louis sunk back down on his cock, wriggling his finger inside Harry’s tight, tight hold. Harry’s cock blurted precome, the salty sweet slick fluid coating the roof of Louis’ mouth. “You taste so good, Harry. So fucking good.” Louis rasped, licking over Harry’s balls, nuzzling his nose into the hair at the base of his cock. “Smell good too.” He said, inhaling the musky sweet smell of Harry’s body deeply.

Harry fucked down on Louis’ finger abruptly, causing Louis to bump his prostrate accidentally. “Oh!” Harry exclaimed, body jolting.

“Found what I was looking for. Thanks for the help, love.” Louis teased.

“Louis. Do…do that again.” Harry moaned, fucking down again and again.

Louis chuckled and went back to suckling Harry’s balls while he fucked his finger into Harry seeking out his sensitive spot again. He found it, and found it again, and repeated his gentle prodding as they found a quick fluid movement. Harry moaned and writhed above him, forcing Louis to push his hips down so he wouldn’t hurt him.

“Gonna add another, ok?” Louis asked Harry, licking up his shaft again so he could take him back into his mouth.

Harry moaned out a fevered yes and begged Louis to not stop. Louis added a second finger, the tightness almost too much for both to fit comfortable. But…Louis scissored his fingers slightly, still careful to prod Harry’s spot while sliding up and down his dick with his mouth. The result was more whining and moaning from Harry and a noticeably more relaxed hole.

“Louis. Christ, Lou. I’m ready. I’m ready.” Harry begged, his hair in sweaty clumps on his forehead and his nipple puffy and red from his over eager fingers.

“Not yet, darling. One more and then we’ll do it, ok? Louis circled a third finger around the side of Harry’s rim, making Harry fuck down harder, pulling the other two fingers deeper inside.

“Just…feels…so good…Lou.” Harry breathed out as his body chased pleasure both inside and out. Louis could feel his own body responding to Harry’s, both from the sounds and the way he felt and tasted. Louis wanted him desperately, wanted to feel him surrounding him in every way. He’d almost forgotten about the Confirmation, so lost in the feeling of wanting to make it good for Harry, perfect for Harry.

But…that’s what this was, wasn’t it? Not only was it the most intense amazing sexual encounter Louis had ever had, but it was almost time to find out if they would soulbond. Louis’ fingers stuttered as his brain worked in opposition with his body, but he recovered quickly, spurred on by Harry’s moaning and the way his fingers had worked their way into Louis’ hair, gently scraping his scalp and clutching the longer strands at the crown of his head.

Louis eased a third finger inside of Harry’s body. Harry winced and called out a raspy, “Fuck” but loosened quickly as Louis went back to fucking his prostate and sucking on his cock. “Louis. M’ gonna…oh shit!”

No sooner had the words left Harry’s mouth than he was coming down Louis’ throat. Louis was momentarily caught off guard but swallowed quickly, fucking Harry through it with his fingers, feeling Harry’s tight hole contract around his fingers. He could feel a wet spot on the sheet underneath him from his own neglected cock. Hearing Harry come was possibly the single most hottest, erotic thing he had ever heard in his life.

“Fuck me. Oh shit, _Louis_! Fucking Christ.” Harry keened, his voice deep and throaty and carrying through the silent still house.

Louis swallowed every last drop and gently eased his fingers out of Harry when Harry started squirming with discomfort. He crawled his way up to Harry’s face and kissed up his neck and along his bottom lip. Harry’s eyes were glassy and staring at Louis in wonder. “Holy shit, Louis.” Was all he said, making Louis swoon with happiness at bringing him such pleasure.

They lay there quietly for a moment before Harry sat up. “Come on. Wanna ride you.”

Louis barked out a laugh. “Really? You ready already?”

Harry just looked down at his dick, smiling broadly. Louis followed his gaze and saw Harry’s cock still half hard, twitching and filling almost in front of Louis’ eyes. “What are you, some kind of sex god?”

“Think so. Wanna find out?” Harry said, his mouth sliding up into a half smirk, eyebrows arching.

“Yeah. Yeah. Ok.” Louis stammered, rolling on to his back.

“First. Can I?” Harry scrambled up, grabbing the lube.

Louis looked at him questioningly. “What is it love?”

“Can I, like finger you too?” Harry whispered, twirling the bottle between the fingers of one hand. Louis was transfixed by the dexterity of his long fingers.

“Yes?” Louis exhaled. “I mean… _fuck_ , _yes_.”

Harry laughed, a deep chuckle that burst from his chest. He opened the bottle and dribbled the glistening liquid over his fingers. “Like this?”

Louis nodded. “Hm. Yeah.”

Harry dropped between Louis’ legs, mirroring Louis’ position earlier. Louis shuddered as he felt a cool finger tentatively touch his rim. “Sorry. Sorry.” Harry said, rubbing his fingers together to warm them.

“S’ ok. Just…you’ll have to be kinda quick. Fraid’ I won’t last much longer.” Louis squeaked, as Harry’s first finger circled his hole and slid in on one gently slide. “Oh fuck. Fucking fuck.” Louis moaned.

“S’ good?” Harry mumbled from between Louis’ legs, his teeth sliding up Louis’ inner thigh.

Louis adjusted quickly to Harry’s finger, his body craving something, anything, at this point. “Yes. Feels so fucking good. Keep going.”

Harry nodded, his wild hair tickling at the base of Louis’ dick and between his thighs. It only added to the sensation of having Harry’s hot breath on his legs and hovering over his hole. “Nother?” Harry asked slowly.

“Y…Y…yes. God, _please_.” Louis moved in time with Harry’s finger, finding pleasure in the simple act of having his arse fucked so gently, but thoroughly, Harry’s finger experimentally feeling all around inside of Louis’ tight heat. Louis felt Harry add another finger, pulling them apart the way Louis had done to Harry. Then, unexpectedly, he felt Harry’s wet tongue circle his rim. He jerked upright, feeling precome dribble down his now painfully hard cock.

“ _Harry_!” He called out, hips stuttering.

“Oh, shit! Was that ok…was I not supposed to?” Harry’s head appeared from between Louis’ legs, concern written all over his face.

Louis fucked down on Harry’s fingers frantically, chasing pleasure now. “No, no. Shit. No. Just, keep doing it, ok? You…” Louis inhaled deeply, whining high in the back of his throat with the exhale, “You are _so_ fucking _good_ at this.”

Harry smiled broadly and ducked back down, eager to resume licking around the puckered edges of Louis’ hole, his fingers fucking in and out beautifully, rubbing inside Louis’ walls in the most perfect way.

“Wanna find it…find your spot, Lou?” Harry’s voice was muffled, his mouth barely moving away from Louis’ opening to speak.

Louis replied in a moan opening his legs wider, encouraging Harry to go for it. Harry was a good student. Within a few seconds he found it, gasping when he felt the change in texture with his finger tip. Louis arched his back and let out a long hard moan, instinctively gripping the base of his cock to keep from coming. “Harry! _Fuck_!” He called out, his voice a scratchy whine.

Harry pushed at it again, clearly excited at his discovery. “Feels good, doesn’t it?” He said triumphantly.

Louis nodded pitifully, his mouth open in a silent scream, his brain scrabbling for words. “H…Harry! Stop. God, stop. Please. Gonna come if you…if you don’t.”

Harry stopped, slowly, teasingly. Louis slowly closed his legs, trying to inch Harry out from between them. “Come on Harry. Come on.” He groaned, still gripping his cock.

“Yeah?” Harry asked, scooting up the bed to Louis’ hips, sitting just below his dick. “Yeah?” He said again, breathless and completely hard again.

“Yeah. Come on. Sit down here.” Louis sat up pulling Harry with him. He fumbled on the bed for the lube and poured some over his cock. He hissed at the cold liquid, but secretly welcomed it since it was keeping him from coming right there on the spot. Harry just looked so fucking _good_ right now. His hair was a wild mess, his body was flushed a lovely pale pink and his cock was standing proudly away from his body, begging for release, that Louis was all too happy to give him. “Come _on_.” Louis whispered again, pulling Harry forward so he could kiss him.

The kissed slowly for a moment, the gravity of the moment finally descending upon them. This was it. They would find out if they were bound together. Louis could feel his heart flutter beneath his chest and he felt like the bed was almost shaking from the vibrations their shared bodies were emitting; the Pull stronger than ever now.

Harry pulled away and placed his big hands on Louis’ delicate but strong shoulders. “Ready?”

“Yeah. You?” Louis whispered, tucking Harry’s hair behind one ear.

Harry nodded and looked deep into Louis’ eyes. “Ready.” He said, a small smile playing on his lips, his eyes wide and so so trusting.

Louis felt tears crowd the corners of his eyes. Harry lifted himself up and hovered over Louis’ cock. Louis moved one hand to Harry’s hip and the other under and between them to line himself up. “Go as slow as you need to, ok? Tell me if it’s too much and we’ll stop.”

Harry blinked his eyes slowly and gave Louis a tiny nod. Louis rubbed his bare head along Harry’s opening, shuddering from sensitivity. Harry pressed his forehead to Louis’, their vision blurring, the scent of the bodies melding into one between them. Slowly, slowly, Harry began to sink down on Louis’ waiting cock.

Louis sucked in air, the feeling of Harry’s body swallowing him up almost unbearably pleasurable. White hot sparks blinded his vision and his entire body shook with extreme desire. Harry stopped once the head had popped past the muscle, breathing out a slow steady breath.

“Ok?” Louis whispered, gently soothing Harry with soft touches to his hips and back. Harry opened his eyes and electric sparks passed between them.

“Yes.” Harry whispered, his voice tiny and small but strong, willing, and certain.

He continued his descent, impaling himself further, further, further until he was fully seated. They both breathed heavily for a moment until Louis felt Harry’s body give just a little bit, accepting the intrusion, slowly pulling Louis in, inch by inch, stretching at the fullness of Louis inside him. Louis exhaled and leaned in to kiss Harry fully on the mouth. “You’re doing so good babe. So good.”

Harry nodded as one tear slowly leaked from the corner of his eye. “ _Yeah_.” He breathed out. “Just need a minute.”

“Take as long as you need.” Louis said, gently, kissing the corner of his mouth, wiping the tear away. He gently kissed Harry’s face and ran his hands as soothingly as he could up Harry’s sides and back, settling at his hips as he pressed his lips to Harry’s open mouth, his bottom lip slotting between Louis’ perfectly.

Moments passed. Their breathing synched up and Louis felt the arousal coiling at the base of his spine. He could feel his own dick twitch inside of Harry’s body, and his body hummed with the need to move. Soon, Harry started moving his hips in small deliberate circles. He let his head fall back and released a long slow sigh. “Good?” Louis asked.

“Yeah…good.” Harry whispered, sounding relaxed and needy again. After a few seconds of Harry’s hips moving, Louis matched his rhythm, finding a perfect match to what Harry’s body was doing to find release. “ _Yeah_.” Harry repeated, his deep voice low and aroused.

Soon enough Harry began lifting up and dropping back down slowly, alternating with soft little grinding circles. All of it felt so blindingly good, Louis just followed Harry’s lead. Louis had never been inside of someone bare before and it felt… _amazing_. Harry’s body was such a perfect fit for Louis. Louis could feel more, could almost feel every part of Harry without the latex barrier. It made the act that much more intimate, more perfect.

Harry’s breathing was coming faster now as his body seemed completely loose at last. He sounded like he was back to being completely immersed in pleasure again. Louis responded by leaning forward to bite at Harry’s neck and thumb at his nipples. Harry arched his back and started to move faster, responding to Louis’ every touch, kiss, bite…

“Louis…I need…” He panted, his legs shaking, hole clenching helplessly around Louis.

“I got you.” Louis said, steadying himself and flipping them, still managing to stay inside Harry. Harry adjusted himself, legs wide to accommodate Louis. “Good?” Louis asked.

“So good.” Harry said, his eyes glassy and mouth bitten red.

Louis held himself up with his forearms and tried to remember where Harry’s spot was. He aimed a few short thrusts and then a couple of deeper ones until he found it. Harry’s body jolted as he yelled out a garbled groan. Louis put his head down and aimed again, and again. He kept aiming until Harry’s body was taut, his long legs wrapped around Louis’ waist, arms pushing against the headboard to give him leverage.

“Yesyesyes. Oh… _god_. Louis!” Harry wailed, his body completely gone, his release hurtling forward. Louis felt Harry’ clench around him, impossibly tight, and he let himself go too. Letting go of the ginger, polite movements he’d been giving Harry , Louis finally let go and pounded deep into Harry’s hole as Harry came hard between them, thick white come hitting his chin, hair and cheekbones. Louis barely noticed, his own orgasm spiraling up his spine and tingling in his groin. He arched his back and held himself deep inside Harry and finally, finally, released. He pulsed white hot inside of Harry, his vision going red, the room hot and close with Harry’s name on his lips.

As if a huge floodgate were opened, Louis felt, no, _saw_ , everything change. The edges of his vision became clearer. Crisp edges defined everything he could see. Harry’s hair, his mouth, his eyelashes. The edge of the pillow case, the soft curve of Harry’s neck. It was all suddenly _clearer_. He could see every color of the rainbow swimming behind his eyes. He felt blissfully connected to Harry; inside him, within him. The two of them were floating, floating, with colors and light and pure simple love holding them, cradling them in a prism of color and magic. It was…like nothing Louis had ever experienced.

“Are you…?” Harry asked, his body melded to Louis’, so close Louis couldn’t tell where one ended and the other began.

“Yes.” Louis cried out, hugging Harry close, their bodies sharing breath, everything so close, close, close.

Then. It was over.

As suddenly as it began.

Tears were streaming down Louis’ face as he looked down at Harry. Harry was crying too, open and too beautiful for words. Louis dropped his head and body on top of Harry fully, his muscles giving out; spent and exhausted. Harry’s arms draped over Louis’ back and his legs dropped open to the side. Louis could feel himself softening, sliding out of Harry’s wet hole. He took a deep breath and rolled off of Harry, laying at his side. Slowly, almost afraid to look, he closed his eyes and reached down to grasp Harry’s fingers in his own. He felt Harry’s longer digits slide between his, that perfect puzzle-like fit slotting together again.

Raising his hand with Harry’s at hip length, elbows crooked, Louis held their joined hands in the air between them. He opened his eyes, slowly, afraid to look.

He heard Harry before his eyes were fully open.

“ _Louis_.”

His eyes snapped open and he was surrounded by a perfect, honeyed yellow glow; their fingertips alight like tiny Christmas tree lights, twenty dazzling dots of soft light sparkling in the dark room. Louis wriggled his fingers in Harry’s grasp and felt his breath catch in his throat.

“They’re… _beautiful_.” He said, feeling a peace overtake him; a peace that felt like calm, tranquil air to calm his hot scorched skin. He felt a sob catch in his throat and realized he was still crying. Something like relief coursed through his body, but it was more than that. It was relief and happiness and the feeling of being completely sated. Full of affection and love and wholeness. Gone were the feelings of longing and desperation. His life felt…finished. But just beginning at the same time. It was… _exhilarating_.

Harry held fast to Louis’ hand as he propped himself up, trapping their hands between their bodies, the glow casting pale shadows over the soft planes of his face. Harry’s eyes looked bright and happy as he looked down at Louis and blinked back tears of his own. “I can’t believe we found each other.” He whispered.

“Me neither.” Louis whispered back, scanning Harry’s face in wonder.

“Glad it was you.” Harry said reverently, squeezing Louis’ hand, the glow jumping brighter up the wall for a second.

“Me too.”

“Fuck.” Harry laughed.

Louis laughed at that, suddenly overcome by such immense joy. He surged up to kiss Harry, feeling such gratitude and amazement at what had happened; what was happening.

They stared at each other for a few long moments, the glow surrounding them, warming their skin and blurring the edges of everything surrounding them, everything that wasn’t them. For the first time in his life Louis felt at peace. At peace and so perfectly, completely sure of what was coming next. For him it would be Harry for the rest of his days. And, for Harry, it would be Louis. There was something so completely and totally solid about that thought. Harry’s warm presence next to him felt like…like coming home. Louis finally felt like he was home.

“Harry?” Louis said, his lips brushing against Harry’s, tiny sparks of light swirling around their heads. Harry hummed and rubbed his cheek alongside Louis’, holding him closer, if that were possible. “I’ll make this feel like home.”

Harry kissed Louis full on the lips as one lone tear drop fell from his cheek to Louis’, mixing with the tears of joy already staining Louis’ soft skin. “It already does.”

~Fin~

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Hope you liked it. Don't forget to leave a note and let me know what you think of it.


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